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World’s Colliding

February 15, 2011

There is an inner tension that sometimes I don’t quite know what to do with. In the past several weeks I can feel things shift in my inner being and I know that in part it is created by what is to come.  Next week I am heading to Spokane for a 12hr sozo intensive at Elijah House.  I’m really really excited about what is to come by just being a part of that process but as it draws nearer I definitely feel the natural and the supernatural colliding inside of me.

The journey I’m on is so much more than one of addiction and really I am so excited to be where I am right now and yet so ready to move.  I am experiencing God’s love in astounding ways (just being able to take the most beautiful woman in the world out to dinner last night and have her want to be my valentine is not only a great example of her love, but God’s love through her to me) as well as in ways where God is challenging me to go deeper and become more vulnerable with Him as my friend.  Two weeks ago I felt challenged to write down a list of “wants” or things that I actually want to do or see happen.  Within a week I had several potential opportunities off of that list pop up. I have been challenged to be a self starter and a follower at the same time.  To learn what it means to follow which at times means to lead.  I’m in the midst of this huge growth and process in my life and it is so exciting.  God is moving and He is moving in me.  It can’t get much better than that.

The shift is happening and really it’s happening faster than I thought.  The hard part is figuring out how I fit in all of it and just letting go of all of the control and power that I once held onto.  How do I participate and yet not suffocate or stress my life into unbalanced chaos?  It’s a huge question and I’m so glad I don’t actually have to answer it.  Good thing nothing is impossible!

Really quick…here is one thing that has been in the forefront of my mind recently and something that I’m sure I will be thinking about quite a bit…What does it look like to merge the fad/popular term of “Social Justice” with “Holy Spirit led believer?”  What does that look like?  How does one operate in this world that likes to talk about “doing good” for others when it’s common place to just ask the Holy Spirit what is really going on and then fixes the problem.  Obviously my passion and desire to help people around the world and unit people to bring about social change comes from the heart of God but have I limited my thought and my dreams by just looking at natural reactions as ‘miraculous’ instead of relying on God to really do the miraculous?  It’s an interesting tension and I’m sure that I’m going to be thinking about it for quite some time but I can tell you this…I’m tired of talking about how we should be doing this or we should be doing that.  I’m so glad that God has equipped us to do what is needed and I’m so glad that God has stirred up something inside of me and is revealing more of who He is as I ask for more.  I will never be the same and I’m glad that if nothing else in my brain comes into fruition I can at least share with someone that I know the goodness of God and it’s POWERFUL and AWESOME.  Pretty simple.  Simply Beautiful!  Forever Changed!

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