I am…

To put it simply…

I am Edmund.

I could go on and on going pretty deep into what I mean but in the most basic form of it, I am Edmund.  Lured away by the thought of treasure and being spoiled and treated as a king.  I wanted to be “the man” the one who ruled it all and wanted to be in control so I made choices that led me down that path only to be rescued and redeemed.  True love brings genuine repentance (seems like I’ve read that somewhere) and I am a walking example of that.  I feel it’s time to not sit in the back sulking in my pride being hurt and instead start living up to the follower, leader, king that I am destined to be.

This morning all of this was emotionally evident in my drive to work as a collection of thoughts that I’ve had the past several weeks and months culminated in a very real and powerful time.  You see, I think I can finally see how I’ve been waiting for the opportunity, as if the opportunity is going to come and I’m going magically just become who I want to be, automatically turn on who I am supposed to be.  No, this morning it was more than evident that instead I need to devote myself, my all to becoming the man who I am called to be regardless of the job, the situation, and regardless of where in life I am.  It’s called perseverance.  It’s not so much trying to reach an end goal but more about the process of changing the reality around me and really changing the lenses that I see the world through.  So when I see that blind woman walking out around town this morning my actions and reaction doesn’t change with the season, with my timing, with my core.  No, I can learn to be a true follower, thus leading even when I’m not in a place of “leadership.”   Sounds like a good time to me.